Memos

MEMO
To: Hoodee,
Subject: I still love you.

Remember that day you barged in my room while I was getting dressed? I had no idea you were even up yet. You pointed to my leg & asked, "Are those growing so big?" I looked down. "Not down there," you complained, indicating my calf (Dang! I was really hoping that's what you were referring to.), "that one!" pointing to my thigh. Excuse me? "No, they're getting smaller." (Oh man. I had myself convinced that going to the gym has really been paying off.) You stood there for a moment with your thumb in your mouth & your eyebrows crinkled down to your nose, & then you randomly blurted out, "You smell funny!" Rude. I did not. You weren't even standing close enough to smell me.

Well son, I forgive you. And I still love you (It's been said before, I'm a giver.). No matter what size my legs are, I'll never get enough of your funny comments & quick observations. But maybe don't say things like that when you're 14......but keep sucking your thumb, that's cute.
Love,
Mom


MEMO
To: Lundles,
Subject: You'll understand

You have to stop growing up so fast. I totally don't get how you're almost 11. You wear my same size shoe. What's that about? So just stop. Okay?

*NOTE TO SELF - invent anti-aging serum. A real one, not like the fake ones in the movies & administer it to oldest child before her next birthday. Or just find a good, ethical vampire to take care of it.

BTW, Lundles, where did you learn phrases like 'equal rights'? It doesn't apply in our home. I know it's not the 1950's as you so astutely reminded me. But, No. You do not have equal rights with your parents. Dad & I are equal, but you're 10 so you're about 1/3 of our equalness. It'll make sense when you're my age. Don't worry, I'll be sure to remind you & your 10 year old daughter of this when the time comes. It'll probably be right after I drop her off from a fun-filled day of buying her whatever she wants & doping her up on as much pop, cotton-candy & ice cream as she can handle. It'll really make sense then.
Love,
Mom


MEMO:
To: Epee,
Subject: Thanks

Hey bud. Thank you for all of the hugs and kisses you so freely give me. They are the best part of my day. Will I still get those when you're 17? I hope so.
Love,
Mom




MEMO
To: SidySue
Subject: Your vernacular

Honey, you're 4 years old. I don't think it's appropriate for a 4 year old to say, Holy Cwap. Also, sure I laughed the first time you called me a Hideous Beast, it was totally unexpected. I mean, what mother doesn't dream of her cute, snugly, pink ballerina, sweet baby girl to stomp her foot and exclaim, "I will NOT pick up my toys, you Hideous Beast!" But now I see the error of my ways. After the 10th time, it's just getting old.

*NOTE TO SELF - Figure out which Disney movie the child is mimicking & destroy it in a fiery pit. Or just throw it away.
Love,
Mom