You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?

I'm back, but don't get your hopes up..... it won't last. In case you hadn't noticed, I haven't been on the blogoshpere since January, not even on my own blog, so what brings me back now? I couldn't tell ya. I ended up here in a round about way. The last couple of weeks I'd been thinking about a girl I used to teach in Y.W.'s who's pregnant with twins so I thought I'd check out her blog to see what's up and then I checked on another friend & another one & after checking out a few more blogs I remembered I had one so I took a peek & wanted to puke ~ it STUNK! I just really needed to get something on it that said...... August or summer or anything other than B.O., if you get my drift (haha, sorry, I couldn't let that one pass).

Okay, you probably noticed I'm a little loopy it's 1:00am which is very Atypical for me. I am NOT a night owl. Once 10:00pm hits then my brain turns to mush, my blood almost stops pulsing through my veins & my feet turn to ice ~even in August~, & my eyes battle their lids to look at one last picture in whatever decorating magazine I'm holding. The lids win about 99% of the time. But not tonight. Atypical. Hmmm. Maybe I have too much on my mushy mind. Maybe we were supposed to be closing on the sale of our house & the purchase of our new house in 10 days. Maybe the peeps who wanted to buy our cute house so badly that they put earnest money down and made an offer an hour after they walked through it 3 weeks ago, didn't get approved for their loan today. Maybe that means we won't be moving in 10 days even though we're pre-approved & locked in with a good interest rate & are pretty much ready to move. Maybe that means I have to go crazy once again trying to keep my house spotless with 4 kids home on summer break & be ready to leave at a moments notice for showings. Maybe I'm a little bitter. Maybe I'm having a bad dream & I'll wake up in the morning & everything will still be back on track & ready to close in a week & a half. Maybe I'm just a really grumpy, glass half empty sort of a person at 1:30 in the a.m. Or maybe this isn't what was supposed to happen & something better is going to happen. I better get to bed. No matter which reality I wake up to in the morning I'm sure it'll be better than the one I'm in right now. It's amazing how things don't usually seem so bad in the morning....... after you sleep.

BTW..... my friend who was preggers with the twins had her baby girls 2 months ago. I knew you would want to know. It looks like they are all doing beautifully, those babies are precious & I couldn't be happier for them. I'm totally baby hungry now.... I really better get some sleep. Good night

A Salute to our Beloved Irish President!

Have a quern grand weekend, mo charas!

Wednesday Reprieve

People ask me for my parenting secrets all the time. I'm frequently asked - 'How do you do it?' Sometimes I catch people just staring at my family - wide eyed & slack-jawed - & I know they're simply in awe. So here's my 2 best pieces of parenting advice in pictures:

1.

2. More than just lawns, it works well for teaching all sorts of good manners!

So, remember, don't blame me if you don't take my advice & your kids turn out like this -

I hope your Wednesday just got a little better! Have a good one.

Memory Monday: My Seinfeld Moment

If you've never had a 'Seinfeld Moment' then I'll fill you in. It's basically a semi-shallow, somewhat selfish moment in your life...... oh, and funny. Today, I'm sharing my favorite one.

Back in the day, at the beginning of my 2nd year of college, at good 'ol Ricks, I was seeing a guy named Dan ('seeing' is not quite steady dating but more than hanging out. Okay, we had gone on a few dates & our relationship was getting to that turning point which all relationships eventually get to - do we get more serious or is it time to fizzle.). I liked him, he was cute, but I definitely wasn't in love. So, this one weekend in October, Dan was headed down to Provo, Utah & offered to drive me down so I could visit my newly married brother & sis in law.

What a sweetheart. I thought it was so thoughtful of him to make that offer (as I was car-less in those days - who needs a car when you can walk?!), & it showed that he actually listened to me when I talked to him since I must have mentioned my brother & sil a time or two. Friday came & he drove me down to my bro's apartment. My bro, sil, & I had a fun weekend hanging out, and then on Sunday, Dan picked me up.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

You have got to be kidding me.

I just remember not wanting my brother & sil to see him & trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. Of course, being the great guy my bro is, he came out to visit with Dan the man & see us off.

I wanted to slide down in my seat & not let anyone see me with him.

The turning point had arrived & I had totally fizzled.

What? What could be so bad, you ask? Well, this is where Seinfeld comes in & I realize it's really kind of shallow, but it was funny.

He was wearing a dorky old mesh football jersey under his leather jacket & tight jeans. Are you kidding me! Who wears those when they're not on the football field? This guy was no football player either - he was skinny. And he didn't have anything on under the mesh jersey. Gross. Seriously, I was grossed out. I think it was that combined with his pilot's sunglasses that he liked to don every once in a while that put me over the edge.

That was a really long 4 hour drive back home that Sunday evening as I couldn't even look him in the eyes. That was the last of him. Unfortunately, I was never able to go out with him again because my calendar suddenly got really filled up.

I know, it was bad of me. I try to justify it by saying, I did question his integrity (okay, maybe that's not a fair judgement to question a person's integrity by what they're wearing) but sometimes he was a bit of a jerk to his roommates (that was real) & I don't do well with jerks. They're not my type. Either are the ones who wear see-through mesh jerseys when it's not even Halloween.

Now, I look back & laugh & realize it was the spirit telling me he was not the one for me. Thank goodness I was listening!

Have you ever had a Seinfeld moment?

Memo's 3

Memo
To: Epee
Subject: Prayer works

So, when you were saying your prayer the other night, you started it off so sweetly but then you asked Heavenly Father to bless your mom to be able to go to the store in the morning to buy you all of the things you want so that I will be a really good mom. Hmm. You see son, the Lord does work in mysterious ways but not through manipulation, & He usually answers our prayers through other people, but when other people don't do what you want after you pray for it it doesn't mean He's not listening, it just means I'm not falling for it. No matter how bad you want this to happen, He is not going to turn me into a robot that you can control. Also, he is not going to command me to go to the store to fulfill your every whim, put me under mind control or magically fill your pockets with all of the money in the world.

Get over it...... but keep praying (I'm sure He's enjoying it).

Love ya, Robo-Mom (ha ha - sike, you wish!)



Memo
To: Manly
Subject: No more karate!

Honey, please stop asking me to practice karate with you - there is a reason you're the one taking the class, not me. If you really need someone to practice with can't you just ask one of the kids? They're tough. No matter how much you promise me it won't hurt & how soft you think you're being - it HURTS! Now listen, I love how strong you are & I love that you're learning to protect yourself against crazy people like your clients who enjoy taking an occasional swing at you, but come on, it hurts! I don't think you know your own strength, which is kind of hot, but seriously. Please. Stop. Asking. I won't do it anymore. And don't look at me like that. Stop it. No.

I still love you,
Your sore wife


Memo
To: SidySue
Subject: Hypnosis

Yeah, good luck with that one. I think it's every kids dream to hypnotize their parents & then make them do what they want. Heaven knows your big brother has tried. Last Sunday as we were sitting in sacrament meeting & you were begging me to put you in time out in the car, I just didn't get it at first. And then I saw the chocolate candy in your hand which was melting. You're a smart girl - some might say an evil genius, whatever you are, nice try. You wanted to go out to the car where it was cooler so your chocolate would firm up. How do you know these things? Anyway, I heard you trying to hypnotize me while they were passing the sacrament. I also saw your little hands making those weird movements in an attempt to make it work. It was a little creepy. So please don't try to hypnotize me or anyone else in church anymore, it just seems so....... not churchy. I'm sleeping with one eye open tonight.

Love, your slightly freaked out servant.



Memo
To: Rocket
Subject: Thanks

Hey, Mr. Good 'ol boy, thanks for getting better. You had us so worried, if you didn't realize by now, we (and by we I mean me. Okay - And the rest of us, but me) are kind of attached to you. I'm just so glad you did get better because if you didn't I was gonna kill you. Seriously those vet bills were expensive. After paying that, we deserve at least another good 10 years out of ya.

You're a lucky boy.

Love, your momm......I mean master.


Memo
To: Lundles
Subject: "I shot the city sheriff" 5 x's fast

Honey next time we're doing tongue twisters for fun, do NOT do any that dad suggests. I still can't believe he had you say that one on the way home from church, of all places! I kept watching your face each time you would slur the words together especially on the word 'city' when the 'sh' sound started creeping in front of it & I could see that you weren't hearing what he & I were. Phew. And even though I was laughing along with dad, I was laughing out of pure shock & outrage - ahem. So stay away from his tongue twisters, 'funny' poems, silly songs & anything else he finds amusing because I know you will too, & you'll want to share them with all of your friends, but those jingles are naughty. I don't think your friends mothers will appreciate them.

P.S. I'm so proud of how hard you worked on your state report. We'll talk more about that later!

Love, the naughty lady who secretly says those same tongue twisters when no one else is around.


Memo
To: Hoodee
Subject: girl stuff vs boy stuff

Okay bud, let's set the record straight. No matter how bad you want Epee to be your twin brother, it's not going to happen. He will always be your brother, and Sidysue will always be your twin. Don't worry. Just because she's a girl & your twin doesn't mean you're going to turn into a girl. Also, just because you danced with her the other day doesn't mean you like "girl stuff" & no, you will not turn into a girl. And, when Lundles calls you a girl & acts like she's turning you into a girl while she laughs that wicked little laugh - you. will. NOT. turn into a girl.

Now that that's clear, I have another point to make. Usually the boys who paint their toenails are the ones who are trying to look like girls. Even though the nail polish is blue, it has sparkles - blue sparkly polish is the equivalent to plain pink polish. I know you would never choose pink anything, so let's not paint your toenails anymore. K? Good. Now, let's go shoot something, or find a snake, or beat up your sister or something. Okay dude!


Love, the lady who painted your toes pretty.

Happy Birthday times 2

You say it's your birthday, it's my birthday too!

2 weeks ago was the twins birthday. They're 5 now. I still can't believe it.

How lucky we are to have gotten these two little rascals sent to us. They are so fun & a total blessing to Manly and I. I can't imagine life without them - not that I've ever tried to do that, *ahem* - as they have kept me on my toes and have added a lot of joy and laughter to the halls of this home.

This is where it all began, about 12 hours before they were born:

Welcome Hoodee & Sidysue!!
Hoodee appeared first. He was healthy & strong & started gaining weight right away. So after the initial couple of days in the hospital for observation he got to go home with Dad & Grandma.
5 minutes later came Sidysue. After her first 24 hours her lungs collapsed & she was life flighted to a bigger hospital where she spent the next couple of weeks. I had some complications too, so, luckily I was transferred to that same hospital & spent about that long there with her. It was our first girls retreat together - we were totally pampered!4 months old on their blessing day. Hoodee wore the same handmade, knitted outfit that Manly wore on his blessing day 32 years before.

At 2 years old, their personalities were shining bright. They are still a couple of turkeys.This year they got to have their first friend birthday party. 1 friend each - it was the smartest thing I've done since teaching the kids to vacuum & do dishes.





Happy birthday Hoodee! Happy birthday SidySue! We love you!

Memory Monday: Grandma got run over by a ...... Cadillac

Today, I'm trying something new. No. It's not mustard or mayo. Or sushi. Or brain tacos. Or smoking. Or - I'll quit now.

It's Monday's. Monday's are getting a face lift around here.

I'll to be taking a walk down memory lane and I invite you to join me. Memory Monday. These are the memories that I want to share with you & get a hard copy of to hold onto for when I inevitably end up walking down the other lane: Dementia Alley- memory lane's nemesis. Plus, I'm kindof a big fan of alliterations. Ever since I learned about them in the 8th grade, I've wanted to use them. So here's my chance.

Today, I would like to introduce you to my Grandma Elsie & share one of my favorite memories of her & I together. She was a riot when she was alive (especially in her later years when she was plagued with dementia {of course}), although at the time I didn't think some of the things she did were funny, as I look back I realize what a gem she was. And as I've gotten older, I've also realized that I'm a lot like her. I inherited her droopy Scandinavian eyes, we're both opinionated, feisty, & friendly. Oh, & we're both crazy - slightly.

She lived next door to us. I loved growing up close to my grandma {except for when I became a teenager & this boy ...... never mind} especially because she had cable t.v. & a spare angel food cake on the counter just waiting for me to eat.

Grandma also had this big 'ol dark Cadillac. She loved Cadillac's and always had one. I loved riding in that car - it was so big, for a long time I thought it was a limo, but my favorite thing about it was in the front seat there was an armrest that would fold down and she would let us sit on it. We all fought over who got to sit there, because when you did you were up so high that you could see everything out of the windshield - like you were the driver. Cheap thrills, but hey, it was 1980.


This one day when I was 5, Grandma was watching my little sister, Sara, and I. We had gone somewhere, like I can remember where - that is the dementia kicking in - and we were just returning back to Grandma's house, me in the front, Sara in the back. So, there I was sitting up high on my armrest slash throne while Grandma got out of the car to open the garage door {I know, weird huh? I can totally remember the old days before garage door openers - can you?} and she left the car running.

It was at that moment that I saw the potential in the long shiny gear shifter with the cool black, knobby thing on the end of it. I was sitting right next to it, it was practically in my face screaming at me to touch it. What 5 year old can resist a shiny stick that makes a car move? I reached forward and touched that big, shiny, metal, powerful stick and then I started to pull. I pushed and pulled with all of my might until finally it moved.


The stick moved.

And so did the car.

We slowly began to roll forward. Me on my throne and my little sister in the back who was smart enough to realize that this shouldn't be happening as she started to cry. It was then that I realized I had made a BIG NO NO. The car wouldn't stop. It kept moving forward & picking up speed & then it started into a sharp turn, maybe because I was pulling on the steering wheel, which put it on course for the neighbor's house. Gasp! I was too scared and frozen to make any kind of sound or movement, which was okay because by then my sister was screaming her head off. I won't ever forget the look on Grandma's face when I saw her out the windshield. I was expecting to see a really mad grandma with smoke shooting out of her ears and instead all I saw was terror and a moment of paralyzing fear sweep across her face before she snapped out of it and jumped into action.

This feisty, almost 70 year old lady literally jumped into action as she tried to jump into the car. It wasn't to be. She got knocked down, her hands shredded & bloodied and her legs run over. It was at this point that, as a 5 year old, I remember feeling like I was in a dream world and none of this was real. We were still headed for the neighbor's house getting closer by the second, my grandma was on the ground desperately trying to get up but not able to make her legs do what she wanted, when it happened.

He appeared.

This strange, long-haired, random man showed up, jumped into the car and stopped it. As simple as that. He smiled at me and then got out and quickly helped my grandma up & stuck around long enough to make sure she wasn't seriously hurt. Then he simply left, he disappeared as quickly as he came.

My guardian angel.

Grandma Elsie and my family didn't share the same religion or beliefs on certain subjects, but she is the one who taught me to believe in guardian angels. She was the first one to call him that and she never doubted that that is what he was and that he was sent there that day to save my sister and me.

I loved that about her. I have always been comforted by her simple faith. I also loved that she wasn't mad at me & never developed smoking ears, and she forgave me as she seemed to instinctively know that I needed to hear those words even though I wasn't apologizing.

I was a big liar too & not even her forgiveness got me to confess, even though I really needed to hear it from her. Later on that day as my family was gathered together and Grandma Elsie & my parents were re-hashing the event over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong & who it was that stopped to help us and trying to get every last detail squeezed out of the story, I was hiding in the bathroom. I wouldn't come out for a long time and I definitely would NOT admit what I had done. As far as I was concerned the car just started going all by itself. They knew what I did & I knew that they knew, but I just couldn't say it out loud. I lied. And at 5 I knew I was lying, but somehow I knew it would be worse to tell the truth, like if I did it would suddenly become real. It was years before I admitted what I did.

So now, at Christmas-time whenever I hear the song, Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, I fondly think back on my experience of running over my grandma with a Cadillac. I also reflect on what it taught me - that my parents weren't stupid, injuries can cause arthritis (she developed it in her knees after that) & guardian angels are all around us.

By the way, thanks to me the fighting over the throne in the Cadillac came to an abrupt end since none of us ever got to sit on it again.

He's STILL our good 'ol boy...

I want to first thank all of you for your well-wishes & prayers on behalf of Rocket and our family. They have been felt & it means a lot to me.

So, here's our update: Rocket is doing so much better! I honestly thought he was going to die, although I couldn't bring myself to admit that out loud a few days ago. I didn't have much hope for him on Tuesday because of how serious the vet said it was & how much pain he was in. They did the blood tests and x-rays & thankfully ruled out surgery. It's still a mystery as to why his stomach is so bloated, which it still is, but he's been on antibiotics (for a problem they found through all of this {you don't want to know}, which they are guessing is what was causing the pain) and antacids - he burps a lot - and has mostly returned back to normal.

He's getting his groove back. On the mornings when I take the twins to preschool, I usually call out, "Okay guys, it's time to go," and then they get their coats and bags on and Rocket usually gets in line with them to head out the door and get in the van. Once he's out the door he then pushes his way to the front to get in the van first - we're going to have to work on that. But he did that on Thursday, when he heard me call out those magical words, he got up off his bed, pushed his way to the front and got in the van. Despite the bad manners we were all so happy. Each day he takes another step towards recovery & has a little more energy than the day before, & even though he's not 100% yet, he's definitely out of the woods and on the mend.

I think we are going to make it to our year mark....... knock on wood, keeping my fingers crossed & holding my breath.

So, thank you, again, for caring. That is something I have come to really appreciate about this whole bloggy thing - the goodness that is out there. Of course nothing is perfect, but what a blessing to have perfect strangers send us notes to let us know you care. You rock!

"He's our good 'ol boy..."

I had a different post planned today, but since the events of this morning, I've changed my mind.

Rocket, our dog, is sick. He's at the doggy hospital & we're not sure what's wrong. It broke my heart this morning to hear him cry out in pain when he tried to get up & then plopped back down again. He didn't even eat his breakfast. That's the first time we've ever heard him cry & watched him skip a meal. Poor boy.

I never thought I'd feel tender like this toward him, like he's my 5th child (Before we got him, I swore that I would not baby the dog or act like he was one of my children. And now that's how I feel.). I've worried over him & prayed for him - even got a little choked up when the vet who makes house calls told us he needs to go to the clinic to get blood work & x-rays done, possibly surgery too. His abdomen is really bloated & painful, what's causing it is the mystery.

The first day we brought him home & I saw house nervous he was, I melted a little, and then as we got to know him I fell in love with him & felt grateful that we got to be his family. I've been so thankful for his sweet nature & the calm spirit which he's brought to our home. But I just never expected to feel like this.

Ugh. I have no more desire to see Marley & Me.


2 days ago we had our 11 month anniversary of having him with our family. I hope we have the opportunity to make it to a year. He's a special dog & I really think he was meant for us. He has fit right in & has been just what my kids, & all of us, have needed. Manly has a way of talking to him that we've all picked up on, which Rocket loves. He says, "He's our good 'ol boy, what a good 'ol boy he is..." in this crazy old man voice as he scratches behind his ears, and it just makes Rocket so happy. He really is a good 'ol boy.

Whatever happens, I know things will work out how they are supposed to.