Memo's 3

Memo
To: Epee
Subject: Prayer works

So, when you were saying your prayer the other night, you started it off so sweetly but then you asked Heavenly Father to bless your mom to be able to go to the store in the morning to buy you all of the things you want so that I will be a really good mom. Hmm. You see son, the Lord does work in mysterious ways but not through manipulation, & He usually answers our prayers through other people, but when other people don't do what you want after you pray for it it doesn't mean He's not listening, it just means I'm not falling for it. No matter how bad you want this to happen, He is not going to turn me into a robot that you can control. Also, he is not going to command me to go to the store to fulfill your every whim, put me under mind control or magically fill your pockets with all of the money in the world.

Get over it...... but keep praying (I'm sure He's enjoying it).

Love ya, Robo-Mom (ha ha - sike, you wish!)



Memo
To: Manly
Subject: No more karate!

Honey, please stop asking me to practice karate with you - there is a reason you're the one taking the class, not me. If you really need someone to practice with can't you just ask one of the kids? They're tough. No matter how much you promise me it won't hurt & how soft you think you're being - it HURTS! Now listen, I love how strong you are & I love that you're learning to protect yourself against crazy people like your clients who enjoy taking an occasional swing at you, but come on, it hurts! I don't think you know your own strength, which is kind of hot, but seriously. Please. Stop. Asking. I won't do it anymore. And don't look at me like that. Stop it. No.

I still love you,
Your sore wife


Memo
To: SidySue
Subject: Hypnosis

Yeah, good luck with that one. I think it's every kids dream to hypnotize their parents & then make them do what they want. Heaven knows your big brother has tried. Last Sunday as we were sitting in sacrament meeting & you were begging me to put you in time out in the car, I just didn't get it at first. And then I saw the chocolate candy in your hand which was melting. You're a smart girl - some might say an evil genius, whatever you are, nice try. You wanted to go out to the car where it was cooler so your chocolate would firm up. How do you know these things? Anyway, I heard you trying to hypnotize me while they were passing the sacrament. I also saw your little hands making those weird movements in an attempt to make it work. It was a little creepy. So please don't try to hypnotize me or anyone else in church anymore, it just seems so....... not churchy. I'm sleeping with one eye open tonight.

Love, your slightly freaked out servant.



Memo
To: Rocket
Subject: Thanks

Hey, Mr. Good 'ol boy, thanks for getting better. You had us so worried, if you didn't realize by now, we (and by we I mean me. Okay - And the rest of us, but me) are kind of attached to you. I'm just so glad you did get better because if you didn't I was gonna kill you. Seriously those vet bills were expensive. After paying that, we deserve at least another good 10 years out of ya.

You're a lucky boy.

Love, your momm......I mean master.


Memo
To: Lundles
Subject: "I shot the city sheriff" 5 x's fast

Honey next time we're doing tongue twisters for fun, do NOT do any that dad suggests. I still can't believe he had you say that one on the way home from church, of all places! I kept watching your face each time you would slur the words together especially on the word 'city' when the 'sh' sound started creeping in front of it & I could see that you weren't hearing what he & I were. Phew. And even though I was laughing along with dad, I was laughing out of pure shock & outrage - ahem. So stay away from his tongue twisters, 'funny' poems, silly songs & anything else he finds amusing because I know you will too, & you'll want to share them with all of your friends, but those jingles are naughty. I don't think your friends mothers will appreciate them.

P.S. I'm so proud of how hard you worked on your state report. We'll talk more about that later!

Love, the naughty lady who secretly says those same tongue twisters when no one else is around.


Memo
To: Hoodee
Subject: girl stuff vs boy stuff

Okay bud, let's set the record straight. No matter how bad you want Epee to be your twin brother, it's not going to happen. He will always be your brother, and Sidysue will always be your twin. Don't worry. Just because she's a girl & your twin doesn't mean you're going to turn into a girl. Also, just because you danced with her the other day doesn't mean you like "girl stuff" & no, you will not turn into a girl. And, when Lundles calls you a girl & acts like she's turning you into a girl while she laughs that wicked little laugh - you. will. NOT. turn into a girl.

Now that that's clear, I have another point to make. Usually the boys who paint their toenails are the ones who are trying to look like girls. Even though the nail polish is blue, it has sparkles - blue sparkly polish is the equivalent to plain pink polish. I know you would never choose pink anything, so let's not paint your toenails anymore. K? Good. Now, let's go shoot something, or find a snake, or beat up your sister or something. Okay dude!


Love, the lady who painted your toes pretty.