Memo's 2

Memo
To: Sidysue
Subject: What would Barbie say?

Do you remember the last memo I sent you? I told you that I didn't think it was very appropriate for a 4 year old to say, 'Holy Cwap'. I didn't mean you should replace it with, 'what the H-E-Double hockey sticks...' I don't think your Barbie's appreciate that kind of language. When 2 Barbie's are having a civilized conversation, it offends the one to have the other one ask her, "what the h-e-_ _ are you talking about!?" So, don't make her say it again. Okay?

Also, where did you hear that? Have you been reading my mind again, because I would never say that out loud.
Love, Mom


Memo
To: Epee
Subject: Free Advice

I thought I had a financial genius on my hands when you told me what you would do if you won $10,000.00. "Security" you said. Security? As in savings, bonds, gold - the sure fire investment? That's a pretty smart thing to do with your $ especially in today's economy..... What? Not that kind of security?

Oh.

An alarm system for your bed. Complete with a net hanging from the ceiling ready to drop on the next intruder, i.e. Hoodee. Booby traps? You would spend $10,000.00 in booby traps, sirens & alarms? Oh & a b.b. gun. Okay, well, never mind. That's not a good investment.

How about if you just put your toys up (out of Hoodee's reach) instead of leaving them in a cool, inviting, set up - ready for action - on your bed? I can't be there all the time to stop him from reeking havoc - in his own room. Have you seen the neighbors garage lately? Remember, you two share a room. I know you try to forget that little fact on a daily basis, but here's the real advice - accept it son & live in reality. It's more likely that you'll win the $10,000.00 before he'll quit destroying everything he comes in contact with. Hope that helps.

Love, Mom


Memo
To: The chicken who crossed the road
Subject: Forgive me

From the time I was a child I always heard about you, but I thought you were nothing more than a joke. A few weeks ago, when I had to come to a screeching halt to let you pass, I realized you ARE real. I'll be darned. Forgive this doubting Tom. Seeing is believing.

BTW - Why did you cross the road? You looked like you were in a big hurry as you were waddling so fast to get to the other side.

Sincerely,
A believer


Memo
To: Lundles
Subject: You're beautiful

I understand you could care less what your hair looks like - all of the time. Even though I don't get it, I was totally vain by the time I was your age. At the rate you're going you won't even be vain until you're like 16. I know I should be grateful, that just means more mirror time for me. Anyways, Dad thinks it's wrong for me to bribe you with money to let me do your hair. I see his point, but it was totally worth the $2.00 I spent last night. Your hair looked really cute...... & I could tell you secretly enjoyed it.

Just remember - taking bribes for anything else is illegal & morally wrong, so don't do it! It's only okay when I want your hair to look nice. Also, you're beautiful no matter what your hair looks like.

But let's go brush it now, just for fun, k?
Love, Mom


Memo
To: Hoodee
Subject: What I didn't tell you

When we were talking about voting last week, do you remember who you said you were voting for? Here's a recap:

Me: Hoodee, who are you voting for?
You: Becky.

Giggles erupt from around the dinner table.
You looked down, slightly embarrassed.

Me: I would vote for her too.
You: I Love Her.

What I didn't tell you is she's a married woman, son, & your mom's best friend. That's just weird. And, if I didn't love her too, I would totally be jealous right now, because you're only supposed to be in love with your Mom at age 4 - it's a good thing I'm not the jealous type.
Love, Mom


Memo
To: Rocket (our dog)
Subject: Clean reading material

The next time you decide to look at the ads, from the garbage can, please don't take the ones which are covered in spaghetti sauce & then drag them across the carpet to your bed. I'm really happy you have an interest in current events, but tomato sauce is really hard to get out of those tiny, little polyester fibers attached to the ground. Thanks for your cooperation. Also, I know a cute Chinese girl who occasionally enjoys dog for lunch. Just keep that in mind the next time you are tempted to look at a dirty magazine (as in covered in sauce).

Love, your Master


Memo:
To: All who wash dishes in the M.E.M.O. household (aka, Manly)
Subject: Veggie scrubber

You know the little scrubby brush that I keep under the sink? The one which I have marked as, "For Veggies Only!!!" (the 3 exclamation points are not an exaggeration) Let me make sure we are all clear on what that means. Veggies (short for vegetables) do not include plates, glasses, utensils, pots, pans, lids, crock pot, Tupperware, pitchers, skillets, sinks, counters or floors.

Thanks for the effort though. I love when you do the dishes. I will bask in the good work that you do. There is no A for effort here. You do a darn good job. You're not a clueless husband who tries to do a job & does it crappy....... (can you tell he's been reading over my shoulder.....)

Love, your loving & adoring wife


Memo
To: Self
Subject: Reminder

Remember to send Motherboard a big, fat, thank you. She deserves it. She has changed your life for the better by introducing you to Google Reader (my newest Internet romance). G.R., where have you been all my life? How did I ever blog without you? I love you. My heartfelt gratitude goes to Motherboard for setting us up.

Thanks,
Aunty Em