You Know You're a Cheapskate When...

1. When you want to be unlisted in the phone book, but don't want to pay the delisting fee so you get re-listed under your wife's maiden name. It's a genius idea in a town where she didn't grow up & no one knows her maiden name. Not so genius when she calls people who do know it & when they see her maiden name on caller I.D. there's an awkward silence. You know they're thinking things like ......I knew it wouldn't last, it was only a matter of time!


2. When, between your choices of Walmart, the mall or the D.I., you choose the latter for your retail shopping enjoyment. Especially when you're on the hunt for suits & church/work attire. Let's face it, the D.I. does have the biggest selection of white button up shirts on the entire planet.


3. When you complain about the prices at the D.I.
   
4. When you look back on your dumpster diving days as a youth not with shame, but with longing.
5. When the only time you eat lunch is when the secretaries in the building across the street from you, have their weekly office party.
6. When you go on vacation to a third world country & refuse to let the eager bell boys take your bags up to your room, 3 floors above, because that requires giving them a tip & that goes against every fiber of your being.
7. When your nice car is considered the nice car because it's the only one that doesn't break down on a regular basis.
8. When finding a roll of cute ribbon on clearance for .25, at Walmart, gives you an unnatural high & you start singing Madonna's, Like a Virgin.
9. When you choose to live in a house with 1 bathroom & no garage just because the mortgage payments are so low you can pay more than the minimum payment each month. Because it's twice as fun to pay twice as much to the mortgage lenders. Whatever happened to living outside your means & good old fashioned debt?
10. When your kids beg you to take them to the bank every day just so they can get some (free) candy from the nice ladies there.
11. When your kids think your neighbors are rich because the grass actually is greener on their side of the property line.
12. When a big purchase is considered anything over $5.00.
13. When you still have clothes from the late '80's - not for sentimental reasons - because you actually still wear them. 'Waste not, want not' is your personal mantra.
14. When buying ice cream, not on someones birthday, is considered a big luxury.
15. When you don't have a cell phone, an I-pod, or cable t.v. because you don't "need" them. Who even thinks that way anymore?
16. When you go to the battery store to buy a special battery for your camera & the sales lady is trying to sell you extra batteries for things like your cell phone & you tell her you don't have one & she's so shocked that her mouth falls open. When she regains her composure she tells you, 'It's okay, I met another lady last week who doesn't have a cell phone either, of course she was 85 years old.', you take that as a compliment.
17. When you find an old pair of crutches out in the desert & you keep them to give to your nephew for Christmas, because what is more fun & says, I love you, like dirty, old, abandoned crutches?
18. When going into any kind of consumer debt makes your eye twitch, your stomach hurt & you start sweating in places you didn't know could sweat.
19. When you need a new van, because the old one (as in 15 years old) has a mind of it's own & only starts when it feels like it, so you frequent the government auction website (as opposed to reading the local paper or going to the used car lot in town) because you're not about to take out a loan for a vehicle, so you look for something you can buy in cash & find a *new* van (as in only 8 years old) which you bid on & win, only 5 days before your 15 hour drive to your sister's house for Thanksgiving. So you fly up to the northern part of your state to retrieve it & spend 10 hours the next day driving it home.
20. When you & your kids are so excited about your *new* van because it has bucket seats & a sliding door on the drivers side. You think it is the coolest thing to happen to you since you bought the $10.00 popcorn popper at Walmart 3 years ago.

Okay, I admit it, that's us - we're BIG cheapskates! Mostly Manly is, but he's kind of turned me on to his way of thinking too, some call it brainwashing, other's call it rude, I call him cheap while my friends & family call me a saint.

I do like the no debt part.

FYI, some of the list above may or may not be an exaggeration, it just depends on how much I distort reality - you'll never know.

Being the thankful season, I really am grateful to have a *new*, well - maintained (we'll see how long that lasts) working vehicle.

Not this one:

{Out with the old... sorry Big Red, we're replacing you with a younger model, one who actually puts out..... as in carbon emissions & all the other stuff that *working* cars actually do to add to the green house effect. }

{In with the new. Hello precious.}

{Do you see it? A real, live, actually working sliding door [not automatic, let's not get crazy here] on the drivers side. My poor, aching back thanks you for the strain you will save me each time I buckle my 2 kids in to their car seats. I love you.}

{Look! We even got a bonus - free hornets nests. This day keeps getting better & better!}

P.S. You know your husband's a cheapskate when he keeps the old run down vehicle to turn into his hunting truck - remember the mantra? Is that cheap or redneck (*cough* white trash *cough*)? You be the judge.